Je N'ai Pas De Mots
by Rambling Whovian
Summary: An alternate ending to Journey's End. The Doctor has always been a man of many words so why is it that he cannot confess his feelings to the woman he loves? Maybe now, after all the turmoil, all the loss, he finally can.


**I wrote this sometime after Journey's End and in any case I haven't updated it much since then so it may not be a good as I thought it turned out to be. For those of you who don't know the title of this fic is french for "I have no words" *I haven't studied french for ages now so it may be a little inaccurate, please do tell me if I've got it wrong* **

**The fic also switches between the Doctor's thoughts and Rose's so I do hope you don't find that at all confusing **

**Disclaimer: I don't own or have any rights to Doctor Who. If I did then David Tennant wouldn't have left the show because I personally think that Ten was the best Doctor so far...**

**..he was _my_ Doctor ;)**

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The Earth was safe, the Daleks and their creator destroyed and his companions back where they belonged, well more or less.

Sarah-Jane would carry on investigating some of Earths more bizarre happenings along with her son and his friends; Jack would continue working for Torchwood with his team in Cardiff, and now Mickey and Martha would be a part of that too. They would take on the roles that Owen Harper and Toshiko Sato had once claimed, Mickey taking on Toshiko's job as head of Alien technology and computer wizard whilst Martha would be the team's medical advisor and doctor. Gwen Cooper and Ianto Jones may not warm to the idea immediately but they would eventually, both Martha and Mickey would show the team what they were capable of and match or better the standards set by their predecessors; of this the Doctor was certain.

However, as for himself, well he was not so sure. Overall, he should have been; his best friend Donna still insisted on travelling with him and the love of his life had returned to him from another world. Though everything should have been fine, it was not; the events of the past two days had taken its toll on his remaining companions; resulting in the two of them retreating to their own rooms, and so the Doctor sat alone in the console room. This was the reason why he felt the way he did. He had been so sure that things would be better than they had been for the past two years now that his Rose was back, but they had barely said a word to one another since her return.

He assumed that her retreat was a way of dealing with her decision to stay with him and leave her family in another world; knowing that she would never get a chance to see them again. Yet she made the choice to leave them almost instantly, without hesitation. Her promise of "Forever" kept intact; he knew that it remained so out of her love and compassion for him. It was now, more then ever that he asked himself if she knew that, he harboured the same feelings towards her. Perhaps he should tell her, perhaps it was the fact that he failed to speak those words on that dreadful beach in Norway, twice; perhaps this was the cause of her sudden retreat. Though he knew that he was too much of a coward to tell her so; he could at least try; he owed her that much. He vowed that tonight she would know; tonight she would learn that she alone was his reason for living.

He now roamed the halls of the Tardis seeking a way to reveal his true feelings to her without the need for words. He could call on Donna and Martha, getting them to explain to her how hopeless he was without her; they had of course witnessed this first hand; it was possibly the easiest way to go about it; he was unconditionally in love with her; he reckoned that both Martha and Donna knew this. It was the easiest way to go about things; it was also the most cowardly.

With something this important, there was no time for cowardice; he was through with that life; through with keeping her away. From tonight, it would be just the two of them together until the end of time; he would find a way to make this last forever.

-Xx-

I chose to leave the console room in search of my own room. I had been gone for so long. Would he have kept it where it was or had he moved it? Was it still mine? Could it be home to one of his other companions; or would he have simply erased it from existence?

I hoped that he would have kept it, as I wanted to have a word with him in private. I could have just spoke to him in the console room but I did not think that I could with Donna around; I had nothing against her, I just wanted him to be the only one to hear what I had to say.

He would choose to follow me out, he always had. He had always wanted to be there for me; even the times I had not wanted him around, his presence had always brought me comfort and in the end, I would forget why I had wanted to be alone in the first place. To my surprise, he just let me be, the one time when I needed his company and he was not there. Perhaps he was still in the console room with Donna; she had experienced more than most of us in the last two days and she probably needed to come to terms with that, it could not have been easy for her to be inside the Tardis as it plummeted to its demise. He would turn up eventually, once he knew that she was okay of course.

And so, I waited patiently inside my old room; I was glad that he had kept it almost as I had left it; there were a few minor changes of course, the photos of just the two of us were absolutely everywhere, it was almost as if he had been trying not forget the times we had shared together. Then there was the letter.

I had failed to notice it at first even though I was sat right next to it, it is funny really; the things you never notice whilst reading.

I had been perched on the side of the bed closest to the door, reading "Wuthering Heights" to pass the time, to be honest I would not have noticed it if the Doctor had not taken it upon entry.

He looked down at the envelope with an expression that was both melancholy and jubilant at the same time; he continued to gaze at it for a while longer before handing it to me. I was surprised, not because the beautiful script was his, but the way he had addressed it to me.

_**To my beautiful Rose**_

I looked up at him sceptically, was this some sort of joke?

Although I had not voiced the question aloud he knew me well enough to guess exactly what I was thinking and so, he shook his head in response choosing to sit beside me, pulling me closer and whispering words of love in my ear. Somehow, everything else seemed insignificant; I had been waiting to hear those words for so long; knowing that I never really needed to hear them in the first place, because somehow I knew that he loved me too.

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**Thank you ever so much for reading**

**Rebecca S xx**

**Reviews & critiscims are welcomed as it'll allow me to excel in this feild of work o(^^)o**


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